


Flying the flag

by This Girl Is (non_sequential)



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, Fourth of July, Gen, Nudity, Public Nudity, dumb boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4277274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/non_sequential/pseuds/This%20Girl%20Is
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is a patriot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying the flag

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Artwork](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/126369) by Buckybuns. 



> This was inspired by a piece of artwork on tumblr (hopefully linked above, although you may need to change the url from 'buckybuns' to 'kuryakinks', as the artist has changed it), and in turn inspired a podfic (from which I nicked the summary, because I'm classy like that). 
> 
> Obviously I meant to post it yesterday, but them's the breaks. Happy belated birthday, America. Celebrate with nudity.

Alan hates the 4th of July. Or rather, he hates working the 4th of July. It’s a terrible day to be a cop. Instead of protecting the people and stopping crime, you basically spend your entire shift chasing down drunk, over-excitable assholes. Like this guy, running down the street with his junk hanging out, flag held behind him like a cape, laughing like a loon, with his buddy behind him filming and yelling, “Do it for the vine!” Alan still hasn’t worked out what the hell a vine actually is, but it usually has to do with people doing stupid and often slightly illegal things, so whatever it is, he doesn’t like it.

At least there’s no kids around right now, but still, what a pair of jerks.

He’s stopped running when Alan approaches him, which is just as well - damn the kid moves fast. He’s turned around, waiting for his friend to catch up, but he seems to hear Alan coming up to him, and turns quickly, eyes widening.

“Good afternoon, Officer,” the kid says with a smile, blushing but fronting like a pro. And that’s when Alan realises he kind of is a pro. He spends a lot of time handling press for the Avengers, because this asshole kid is Captain goddamn America.

In the background the kid’s frie- Captain America’s friend is hanging back and laughing like a damn hyena.

Someone owes Alan a lot of beer for this. He can’t arrest Captain America on the 4th of July, even if it is clearly his job. He scowls at the kid, Rogers. Because American icon or not, this is a dumbass punk kid, standing in the middle of the street, trying to cover his privates with a flag, without actually touching his privates with the flag. Rogers hunches his shoulders, stares at his toes, waiting for Alan.

“I don’t get paid enough to try and explain arresting Captain America for public indecency on the 4th of July,” Alan says, “But for God’s sake, put some damn pants on, and get the hell out of here.”

“Yes, sir,” Rogers says, at least not giving him any lip.

“And don’t do this shit again,” Alan adds.

“No, sir,” Rogers replies.

Alan nods, and Rogers nods back, neither of them quite sure how to end the confrontation. After a moment Alan just turns and walks away to go find the next patriotic hooligan. As he goes, he hears Rogers’ friend still laughing, and Rogers saying, “Shut up, and give my pants back, you jerk, this is all your fault.”

Alan could have gone his whole life without know what Captain America’s dick looks like. He’s going to need a lot of beer for this.


End file.
